Hidden Insanity
by Sailor Draco
Summary: A funny fanfic that I wrote in response to a challenge. Rei has an unhealthy obssession, the senshi think Usagi is up to something, and something dangerous is lurking nearby that may look cute at first. This fanfic is complete.
1. Chapter 1 Death by Chocolate?

Hidden Insanity by Sailor Draco 

Disclaimer: I do not Own Sailor Moon

Authors Notes: This fanfic was written for a contest started by Bunny.  
I have placed the rules of this contest at the bottom instead of here so it wouldn't give anything away. Enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Death by Chocolate

It started out a day like any other. The sun was shinning, the flowers were blooming... the birds were singing until Luna ate them. Yep, a day like any other. Little did the senshi know the discovers and terrible misunderstandings that awaited them that day.

Usagi was as usual running around her room, clothes flying everywhere as she frantically searched for something to wear, tripping over her unopened school books, screaming about how late she was just like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland.

"Usagi..." tried Luna.

"Not now Luna! I'm very late!" exclaimed Usagi as she pulled a jacket out from under Luna, sending her flying into a bookcase where she hung by her claws, trying not to drop to the floor.

"USAGI!!!!" she cried in frustration.

"Knock knock," said a familiar voice at the door with a smile.

"AMI!" cried Usagi as she stopped, frozen in her tracks with one hand holding her lipstick, upper lip painted, and different color socks on her feet. "What are you doing here? Your going to be late to the senshi meeting! You're never late!"

"Silly, the meeting has been moved until later! Didn't you get Minako's message?"

"No! This is going to cause some time conflicts..."

"USAGI!" cried Luna as she fell from the bookcase, on to the desk below, sending papers flying through the air like feathers during a pillow fight.

Ami burst out laughing, nearly collapsing in hysterics on the floor.  
"I... I wish.... I wish I had a video camera!" she said in between laughs. Usagi joined in and before they knew it Luna was out the door muttering things I dare not repeat here.

"That was priceless!" laughed Usagi.

As the laughter faded and the girls found they could breathe again Usagi changed her socks to ones that matched, and with a sigh of relief sat at her vanity mirror to finish her new lipstick. Ami sat on the bed, holding her side for it hurt from so much laughing.

"What's with the lipstick Usagi?" asked Ami curiously.

"Nothing!" said Usagi quickly. "I just... saw it at the store and thought it looked nice. I thought Mamoru might like it.  
We have a date later, it's the anniversary of our first date. It could make me late to the senshi meeting."

Ami raised an eyebrow at that but said nothing.

"So, what are we doing today?" asked Usagi, slyly changing the topic.

"I thought we would surprise Rei at the temple first and then go to the arcade with her. She's seems like she's been kinda depressed lately."

"Yeah, I think she's sad because Yuuchirou is gone for the entire month! Lets pick up some Manga for her to!"

"Agreed!" chimed Ami.

. - . At the Temple . - .

Rei lay upon her bed on her stomach, one elbow propped up, holding her head, feet up in the air sighing and looked, well, depressed.  
Reaching for another piece of chocolate she screamed.

"That can't be the last one!" she cried in anguish.

She jolted out of bed and started searching frantically for more chocolate, all manners of things flying through the air. Her personal possessions were scattered everywhere, her entire room nearly turned upside down. It was a true disaster zone.

She cheered in triumph as she found a hidden box, then in her excitement bumped her head on the bed. Cursing and crawling out from under the sweet, nonjudgmental darkness of under her bed she looked up to see Ami and Usagi standing in her doorway shocked, pens and various other sharp objects embeded in the door framed near their now very pale faces.

Usagi stood there, a bag of manga in her hand, mouth hanging open slightly in disbelief, Ami next to her with wide eyes.

"Rei, what are you doing?" asked Usagi.

"Nothing!" Rei cried, throughing the box of chocolate behind her. "What box? I don't see any box, I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Um, okay," said Ami. "We came to cheer you up."

"We brought manga!" cried Usagi, holding out the bag proudly.

"That's nice," said Rei, getting that glassy far off look on her face as she sat down upon her bed, raising a knee to chest as she placed her head on it and allowed that raven hair to cover her until only her eyes showed.

"Rei that's creppy! Cut it out!" cried Usagi. "I'm serious! YOUR SCARY!"

Usagi threw the bag of manga at Rei in attempts to make her stop, the manga hitting Rei's head and bouncing off with a loud BOING! sound.  
Rei just stared at her, tucking her hair behind her ears to prevent any other flying projectiles from being aimed at her. Other wise she said nothing. No insulting comments to Usagi, no bickering, not even an ouch. She was silent as the grave.

"That's it, we are getting you out of this mess!" cried Ami.

Together Ami and Usagi dragged Rei stumbling out of her room to met the others at the arcade.

. - . The Arcade . .

"And he wouldn't stop snoring!" exclaimed Minako. "Can you believe it!  
I even tossed him out of the bed, and then threw a pillow at him! AND HE CONTINUED SNORING! I swear I didn't get any sleep last night!"

"Does he have a cold?" asked Makoto, trying to help.

"Maybe, or maybe he's just trying to get even with me for hogging all the covers!"

"That sly cat!" laughed Makoto.

"I'll show him! I'm taking Artemis to the vet today, we shall see how he likes that!"

"Oh that's nothing," laughed Ami. "You should have seen Luna this morning! It was hilarious!"

As they were laughing and talking together Rei sat there, head on the table and looking sad, Usagi looking around as if looking for someone.

"Has anyone seen my thing?" shouted Mamoru frantically as he quickly stood up from the counter, knocking his stool to the ground. "I HAVE TO FIND MY THING!"

With that last desperate cry he kissed Usagi, getting the lipstick all over his mouth, then ran out of the building like a chicken with its head cut off. The lipstick smeaered across her face making her look like some kind of sick cheery clown.

"Okay..." said Minako as they all stared at the door puzzled.

"Can I take your orders?" asked Motoki with a smile and a wink at Usagi. She blushed with a sly smile on her face and ordered the vanilla cherry swirl shake.

"CHOCOLATE!" Rei burst out. "I MUST HAVE CHOCALTE! ANYTHING AS LONG AS IT IS CHOCOLATE!"

After a few moments of shocked silence the others quickly placed their orders and Motoki ran off as fast as possible to fill them.

"That sure is pretty lipstick Usagi," said Makoto in a teasing voice.  
"What shade is it? Luscious siren?"

"What? I don't know what you mean! It's.... it's called Pure Inspiration! Yeah, that's it," she explained frantically.

"Sure it is," Minako laughed. "Who are you wearing it for?"

"I.... Um.... Well... Mamoru of course!" she cried.

They all looked at her suspiciously, all except Rei who seemed lost in her own sad little world.

"I wonder what Mamoru was looking for," said Minako.

"Who knows, as long as he is far away from us!" cried Makoto. "I think he has finally lost his mind. Poor soul."

"Hey! I happen to be in love with that poor soul!" cried Usagi defensively. "I'm dating him, remember?"

"Sorry Usagi," said Makoto.

"Here you go," said Motoki smiling as he laid the orders on the table.  
Rei quickly snatched her chocolate milkshake, sundae, and Minako's chocolate cake off the serving tray and started to consume it like it was her last meal.

"Rei-chan.... I think you have a problem..." said Minako shakily,  
eyes wide and moving her chair away from the scary raven haired girl.

"You need some serious help Rei..." agreed Ami.

"Rei, step away from the chocolate!" cried Usagi.

Rei looked at them all like they were some kind of demons from the underworld.

"You can't have the chocolate! It's mine, mine you hear! You can't have any of it!," she cried, her voice getting more and more frantic,  
her eyes growing more crazy by the moment.

The other senshi stood up, circling her.

"Rei, you have a problem," stated Ami.

"And we are going to solve it, whether you like or not," said Makoto as she held a piece of rope.

At Usagi's signal they all jumped Rei. A cloud of smoke filled the air,  
you could hear screams and snarls, girls hitting the floor, the fur was truly flying! At one moment Rei actually bit Usagi's wrist, sending her crawling backwards until she hit the wall, shrieking all the way.  
When the dust settled the other girls shoke the dirt from their hands and Rei sat in her chair, tied to it and truly unable to escape.

"No," whined Rei. "But the chocolate..."

"The chocolate will be just fine without you," reassured Minako tapping her on the head gently.  
The rest of the senshi finished off everything, including the sacred chocolate while Rei watched on.

"Usagi, what happened to your wrist? Come with me, I have some bandages in the back room," asked Motoki, a bright gleam in his eyes.

"Sure," said Usagi smiling as she followed him to a back room.

"You guys are not going to believe this," said Makoto with a mischievous smile upon her face.

"Tell us!" cried Ami after Makoto made a dramatic pause.

"Usagi and Motoki are dating!" she exclaimed.

"NO WAY!" exclaimed Minako.

"That can't be true!" cried Ami. "She wouldn't..."

"Then how do you explain the lipstick?" questioned Makoto.

"The lipstick!" echoed Minako. "Wait a moment, she's in love with Mamoru! He even kissed her and got that lipstick all over him."

The senshi continued gossiping among themselves for quite sometime until Usagi returned, her wrist bandaged up with great care, her lipstick fixed, a brightness to her eyes, and something in an orange bag.

"What do you have in the bag Usagi?" asked Minako innocently.

"Nothing... I mean nothing special," laughed Usagi, trying very hard not to look supsicious. "Well, I must run. I have a date with Mamoru so I'm going to be late to the senshi meeting. Do you want to move it or you can start without me?"

"Oh, don't worry about us Usagi," smiled Makoto. "You go ahead and have a good time, we can have the senshi meeting after your date.  
Where is he taking you?"

"Great!" exclaimed Usagi. "We're going to that great new American food restaurant that just opened up. See you later!"

Without she left, practically skipping.

"Girls, I think we have a special mission on our hands," said Minako.

"What do you mean?" asked Ami, the innocent one.

"Why, that girl is up to something," said Makoto with certainty. "we are going to spy on her and find out the truth!"

Rei just stared at them all in disbelief, wishing she had some more chocolate.


	2. Chapter 2 The Dangers of Jello!

Hidden Insanity by Sailor Draco 

Disclaimer: I do not Own Sailor Moon

Authors Notes: This fanfic was written for a contest started by Bunny.  
I have placed the rules of this contest at the bottom instead of here so it wouldn't give anything away. Enjoy!

Chapter 2 - The Dangers of Jello

Usagi walked into the restuarant wearing a gorgeous cerulean blue dress stopping just above her knees with a plunging neckline and black leather jacket. Lets not forget that wonderful pink limpstic!

She walked in the door, looking around and smiled when Mamoru waved at her from the table. She walked over to him on her black boots similar to the ones she wore as Sailor Moon, complete with silver cresent moons. They seemed to be the only style of shoes she could wear heels in without falling.

"You look beautiful," Mamoru said, pulling out her chair for her, kissing her, lingering over those pink lips, then returning to her seat.

"Thanks," she smiled sweetly. "Wow, this place is great."

She looked around, the walls were the wonderful shade of crimson autumn leaves, the table clothes that wonderful golden color. The chairs and tables themselves were that wonderful deep ebony color. The restuarant was semi-formal but served American cuisine, including food that was fried and full of fat, salt, and sugar. The tastest kind!

"I see you are still wearing that tasty lipstick. What flavor is it"  
he asked.

"Strawberries and creme," she smiled.

"These are for you," Mamoru said as he handed her a bouquet of crimson and white roses - love and purity. Her smile widened as she smelled the beautiful roses.

The waiter camed and she ordered a huge steak complete with fries,  
fried vegteables, and a strawberry milkshake. Mamoru got fried chicken strips with honey mustard sauce, fries, a potato, and a chocolate milkshake.

"What are they doing?" asked Minako from a table not very far away, hidding her face behind a menu.

"I'm not sure, I think he really likes that lipstick," observed Ami who was just as courious as the rest of them.

"I want to know where she got those boots!" exclaimed Makoto.

Rei just stared, eyes wide from choclate withdrawls, tied to her chair and gaged. They had no choice, she wouldn't stop talking about chocolate!

They themselves decided it would be best to order something to eat,  
and chowed down while they watched the two loverbirds who seemed to do nothing but laugh and talk.

Finally, after the couple finished eating it was time to exchange presents!

"What did he get her?" asked Minako.

"I don't know I can't see..." said Makoto, stretching her neck.

Meanwhile at the other table Usagi happily opened up her present.  
"Mamoru, it's beautiful!" she cried, as he helped her put on the white gold chain braclet with charms of hearts, stars, and moons.

"WHAT IS IT?" demanded Minako from the other table.

Usagi handed him that bag from earlier. He opened it up to reveal a jar filled with the most beautiful butterflies.

"Usagi, they are amazing!" he exclaimed.

"I asked Motoki if his girlfriend could get them, and she came through"  
she smiled happily.

A rat ran by under the table, making Usagi jump onto the table,  
screaming in horror. Her foot knocked the jar out of Mamoru's hand which sailed through the air with a crash as it hit the floor.

The air was filled with this bizzare buzzing sound, then filled with screams as the butterflies descended upon the innocent people eating their dinners.

"WHAT IS IT?" cried Minako as she ran up Usagi.

Usagi jumped down off of the table with wide eyes, skin pale as ice, and grabbed Minako by the shirt collar and shaking her screamed "WE BROKE THE JAR! THE RADIO ACTIVE KILLER JELLO BUTTERFLIES ARE LOSE! They were an imported gift from Africa for Mamoru! Motoki's girlfriend got them for me."

"WHAT?" exclaimed Ami. "That's ridiculous!"

Even as she said this she could see it was true as these nightmare things began attacking everything in sight.

Rei screamed, but was unable to escape the ropes that binded her to the chair, the other senshi screamed, knocking the table on its side and hiding behind it, quickly transforming.

The butterflies quickly devoured the table like hungry piranha's after a cow. Ami ran around the room as these Jello butterflies tried to eat her, occasionally getting part of her fuku. Who knew she could so fast in those heels!

These monstrous things seemed to be immune to their attacks! Whatever are the senshi to do? Can they possibly survive this new enemy,  
perhaps the fiercest thing they have ever faced! Can they live through this new enemy or will they forever be lost...

"HEY! Narrator, why don't you shut up and do something useful"  
shouted Mamoru.

Okay....

"I have an idea!" exclaimed Usagi brightly. She stopped running.  
WHAT? What does she think she's doing? I can't believe it! She is chasing the butterflies, mouth open wide, and eating them!

And the other senshi do the same! Well, all except Rei who is still on the floor, attached to that chair, frantically tryng to reach a chocolate chip cookie on the floor, muttering on how divine chocolate is since she chewed through her gag.

Before long the senshi sat on the floor, looking dazed with an upset stomach. All the radioactive killer Jello butterflies were gone and you just knew that when the lights went off the senshi would glow in the dark.

"The... the only way to destroy Jello... is to eat it," said Usagi regretfully followed by a rather loud belch.

"Jello is so evil," moaned Ami.

Suddenly Mamoru ran back inside with a live chicken on his head and grabbed Usagi's purse. Digging in it, he pulled out the lipstick with a cry of triumph.

"My thing!" he cried and proceeded to cover his face with the pale,  
shinny, long lasting pink lipstick.

A group of teenagers came in at that moment and froze in shock when they say the senshi.

"OMG! Your a legend!" they cried in unison as only a group of girls can do.

"Why yes I..." started Sailor Venus then stopped dead sentence as the girls ran over to Sailor Moon and started to beg for her autograph.

"Your a legend Sailor Moon!" one girl cried.

"I want to be just like you!" cried another.

Usagi, speechless, smiled and began to sign autographs. Then the crowd suddenly turned mad and started grabbing at her, ripping out clumps of hair and fuku.

"I got her hair!" screamed one frantically.

"I got a piece of her skirt!" cried another.

They dog piled her, and in the frantic mad grab she managed to crawl out of the pile without their notice and ran to hide behind a booth.

Just then, when things couldn't get any worse the loony van pulled out and a group of clowns came out with straight jackets.

Yep, that was the day everyone's hidden insanity came out.

Rei is still obsessed with chocolate, Mamoru loves Usagi and her enchanting lipstick, and the others have found their own insanities.  
The clowns... I mean doctors figure if two of them are insane they all must be insane. I mean, radio active Jello butterflies attacking them, really! Seems to scream insanity...

Visiting hours of 9AM-5PM, please feel free to stop by. Fair warning though, Rei is now convinced that everything is chocolate and now bites. Let me tell you, she has very sharp teeth! Have a nice day.

- . . - . .

Okay, lol. That's my sick attempt at humor. An hour of boredom and a cup of french vanilla hot chocolate and this is what you get.

Hope you enjoyed it, all comments are welcomed, even flames.

The challenge from Bunny:

The challenge is to write a one-shot or chapter story set in the 1st season. It must be an usagi/mamoru romance / comedy that is 800 words or more with the following fun-filled features:

1. Rei has an unhealthy obsession with chocolate

2. Ami makes fun of Luna

3. Mamoru says "Has anyone seen my thing?" (You decide what he's referring to.)

4. Someone tells Usagi she is a legend

5. Mina complains about Artemis snoring too loudly

6. Lita starts a rumor about Usagi and Motoki 


End file.
